Life after Antarctica

I’ve been wanted to write this for a while and I apologise up front as this is more for me to capture my feelings to read much later in life than anyone else reading it.

Having completed my second stint working in Antarctica at Casey station a couple of months ago doing what I consider to be the best job in the world – for me at least, I have been reflecting on what it has meant to me and how it has enhanced my life but also challenged me in ways I never imagined.

Coming home is the definition of bitter sweet particularly this time as I left behind the winter team who I came to admire, respect and adore. The flip side is I now get to spend time with all the wonderful people that make my life whole including those I’ve met through Antarctic adventures.

The first few weeks are a roller coaster of emotions.  The first few days I was drawn to the safety and security of just hanging with people that I lived with on station somehow not wanting to let go. But one by one we all go ‘home’.  For some that’s straight back to partners, kids, jobs and home towns.  For others they are looking for jobs, new places to live or going on epic holidays while they contemplate what next.  

Last time I went to Bali for a few weeks and had 5 months off while I changed jobs and swapped Canberra once again for a new adventure moving to Hobart.  This time was much less dramatic as I slipped back into my job and life in Hobart after I spent a week with the family and my closest and oldest friends.  That’s years of friendship people, not suggesting anyone is old!!!   

Both times I have had moments of feeling overwhelmed, a little anxious – perhaps they are the same thing and occasionally feeling like I don’t belong anymore.  How could this isolated and harsh part of the planet feel more like home to me than anywhere else? But turns out that old saying of home is where the heart is, is pretty true and that can be more than one place – well it is for me at least.  

I love my family and friends and am always so happy to see them especially to connect at important events like birthdays and more recently a funeral for someone who left this earth way too soon – you simply just can’t jump on a plane to be where you most want to be when in Antarctica. Living so far away has deepened my understanding and value human connection and appreciating the small things in life. 

There are lots of things I miss about Antarctica and its not all about penguins and icebergs.  Every day I laughed at the most silly things and not just a giggle but a real belly laugh. With 120 people in a shared house it’s hard not to be entertained by someone saying or doing something funny.  This could be anything from the choice of clothing or footwear – gold onesie comes to mind, the daily chat of what to put on a toastie, the many photos of Damo that seem to appear in random locations or Ty yelling out ‘I run hot’ as he fills everyone’s glass with their drink of choice followed by hours of karaoke, dancing and late night almost always mullet hair cuts.   

Then there are the random acts of kindness and thoughtfulness, a coffee or a tea being made for you, the sharing of a dessert, the endless putting of things away that definitely weren’t put there by that person (sometimes just put into the lost and never found box) and the incredible hand made gifts or items that were auctioned for charity.   For me, the boxes of chicken crimpy’s that regularly appeared at my bedroom door and the cans of sprite that were smuggled from the ship because they knew its my hangover cure.  And the very special, coveted by others, Reece’s plumbing t-shirt officially welcoming me into the plumbers world as an honorary member.  

All these little things and moments in time I hope will stay with me as memories that make me smile (hence writing them down) and at times make good stories for those interested.   

But as I turn my mind back to life after Antarctica I appreciate many things I can’t get while I’m away.  I love grocery shopping and making all the choices of what I want to eat, cooking with fresh produce and deciding when I want to eat it and who I want to eat with.  I have a pretty diverse and dispersed group of friends and being able to see them separately and spend quality time together in many locations across the globe is something I value even more now.  The freedom of choice is a luxury I’ve always taken for granted. 

I can have more than 10 standard drinks a week if I want to – not that I should! And drink in more than one bar or get sparkling water from my very reliable soda stream.  Not much better in life than a lovely cold Rosè with the sun on my skin spending time with good people.  

I am back to brushing my teeth in the shower and turning it on and off once only.  I’m back getting regular massages, paying someone to get my nails done, could be regretting this….  and spending hideous amounts of cash at the hairdresser – not that I didn’t love Gus’s colouring service on station.  

And I can have a coffee in my pjs by myself, although if someone can wear a gold onesie surely I could have had a coffee in pjs….but never by myself.   I must admit though some days I miss coffee in the wallow with the regulars laughing at me as I once again knocked over that damn chess board while navigating to my chair of choice.   

Someone said to me recently that we were in a place, Antarctica, where the people are real and everyone is treated as equals, there is no judgement and we have real conversations.  The reality is everywhere I go the people are real and the conversations are real we just have many other influences and inputs to deal with so its less obvious.  

Antarctica allows me, forces me, to strip all that extra stuff back and just be who I am with what is available and I’m grateful for that opportunity and the personal growth that came from it.  My Antarctic experiences together with many other moments in life have shaped who I am.  It could also just be bullshit and I’m just getting older and feeling super comfy in my own skin.  

And yes I’m keen to go back another time.